Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Some Guys Just Can't Run


In my last post, I promised that I would never ever write another sentence about a certain Redskins defensive lineman when he said that he didn't want to play in D.C. anymore. But since he decided to eventually drag his ass to camp, I decided to make a few concessions. I'll still write about him, but I'm gonna call him other things instead of his name.

Anyway, I'm not that bitter anymore and I think the situation is kinda funny now. The oxygen thief said he was too good for the switch to the 3-4 defense and implied that he didn't need to "come down to our level," and when he finally did show up, he can't even pass a simple conditioning test to practice with the team. How beautifully ironic is that? That's like the PG-Train losing his voice right before the FCC let him say anything he wanted on the air.

And then overgrown Chunk from the Goonies failed the test again and couldn't even try the next few days due to "injury," which caused the entire football world and D.C. area to collectively laugh right in Jellybowl's face.

First of all, Stay-Puft was the only Redskin that had to take the test because he missed minicamp while he was busy whining about his situation. That definitely adds to the entire comedy. And in case you're wondering about what the test was that the former Pro Bowler couldn't handle, it's basically six 50-yard sprints that have to be done in 70 seconds the first run and 73 seconds the next run. A reporter from Comcast SportsNet passed the test, as did Mike Golic on NFL Live. Yeah, Golic did it. He's 47.

Also, I know the test is a little different in Baltimore, but Terrence Cody managed to pass his drill (on the third try). If you've seen the guy, you'll realize that it makes the whole thing even funnier.

Oh, and Old Country Buffet could lose his entire $100 million plus contract if he doesn't eventually pass the test. I think I'm gonna end with that since I feel so great right now. Maybe I'll run a few sprints.

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