Monday, August 9, 2010

32 Teams in 32 Days: #30 The Browns


God may have a problem with the Buffalo Bills. But God DEFINITELY hates Cleveland, and with absolute venom. There's that whole "Indians not winning a title since 1948 thing". Then this summer, some above average Cleveland basketball player apparently decided to leave his lifelong hometown for Miami. He also had an hour long special on ESPN to announce his decision. Wow...that's pretty cool!

And then there's the Browns. Forget the fact that some douchebag owner pretty much stole the team and moved it to Baltimore back in 1995. Quite the low blow. Cleveland did end up getting the Brownies back in '99. But these new Browns?  They've been awful, eerily similar to "Browns" that you or I could "take to the Super Bowl".

Will the bad luck change in 2010? No. Not a chance in hell.

STRENGTHS

And that's it. Cleveland's best player is a kick returner...Josh Cribbs. Probably the best returner in the NFL. He should really help the Browns, seeing as every single play in an NFL game is a punt or kickoff...oh wait.

WEAKNESSES

Too many to list...so EVERYTHING.

THE OFFSEASON

The Browns appeared to be heading in the right direction when they hired Mike Holmgren as team president...but got right back on the train tracks to hell after they decided to keep Eric Mangini. WHY? A 4 game winning streak does not offset a 1-11 start. NOT AT ALL.

Unlike St. Louis and Buffalo, Cleveland actually did sign some players during the offseason. Unfortunately, those players were Jake "Not a very handsome guy" Delhomme and Ben "This is pretty much all I did in New England" Watson. Booooooo.

The Browns did okay on draft day. Joe Haden (CB Florida) was the best corner available, and being a former Gator he's basically a legend. Montario Hardesty (RB Tennessee) is a bruiser who'll step in as the power back for Jamaal Lewis. The crown jewel was Colt McCoy (QB, Texas) who fell all the way to the 3rd round. He'll likely be the Browns starter in a few years.

THE DREAM 2010

Dreams don't exist in Cleveland.

THE NIGHTMARE 2010

The season actually takes place.

SO WHAT HAPPENS IN 2010

2-14, last in the AFC North, and Eric Mangini finally gets fired. Seriously, it's Cleveland...would you expect anything else?

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